All over the world, weddings are rituals which join together two people in the eyes of their community. How that ritual takes place, however, depends on the beliefs and practices of the community itself.
In Myanmar society, a husband and wife can announce their marriage simply by letting people from seven houses on either side of the wedded couple’s house know about it. While some couples do start their married life like that, most people – and brides especially – usually want to celebrate their wedding ceremony grandly among their community. This requires much preparation, and the bridegroom-to-be will need to be strong if he wants to keep up with his bride-to-be, who will likely want to be involved in every little detail before the big ceremony. At the same time, a host of other people will be making decisions and working to ensure a happy start to wedded life: Parents, elders, officials, monks, astrologers and even spirits each have important roles to play in traditional Myanmar weddings.
The first step in a marriage is that the prospective groom’s parents, or another well-respected elder, will visit the home of the bride-to-be to discuss the details of the wedding, such as when and where it will be held and what will occur at the ceremony. Even if both families are close to one another, it is tradition that they must negotiate before coming to a decision.
The next important step is signing the marriage certificate at a courthouse in front of a judge. But there are other authorities to consult as well. Some parents entrust the future of the wedded couple to the care of the household nat (spirit). They invite a natkadaw (spirit medium) to the home of the family where the couple will be living and, by offering coconut, banana and pickled tea leaves on a tray, will urge the spirit to protect the bride or bridegroom who will be moving in as a new member of the family. Some people believe the spirit will help the couple to stay healthy and be successful in business and social affairs.
Buddhist families will also invite monks to the home to offer food to them and listen to their sermons. Once the couple has offered food to monks to bless their marriage, the couples are allowed to live together.
Of course, other factors may also influence the long-term success of the match. Some elders believe that those born on particular combinations of days of the week are not suitable for one another. Saturday-born and Thursday-born; Friday-born and Monday-born; Sunday-born and Wednesday-born; Wednesday-evening-born and Tuesday-born are all poor combinations, according to traditional beliefs, and some families take these warnings seriously. Of course, inevitably some couples are not born on complementary days. Such couples usually go ahead with their marriages, but may turn to an astrologer to help them avoid difficulties.
For those who consult astrologers for guidance in everyday life, weddings present a particularly important reason to seek advice. Elders will consult astrologers in order to choose the date and time of the ceremony, as well as the colour of the wedding dress and the flowers. Sometimes the astrologer will also advise the couple on which arrangements and decorations will bring them luck and perhaps even lead to a financial windfall which will help pay for the cost of the wedding.
Myanmar people are also traditionally superstitious about which months are best for holding weddings. Couples married during the Myanmar calendar’s months of Tagu (April), Kasone (May), Nayone (June), Thadingyut (October), Dasaungmone (November) and Tapoedwe (February) are thought to have more prosperous and longer-lasting relationships. Other months are thought to be best avoided if possible.
Of course, as in all cultures, the budget of the couple and their families will help determine the type of wedding they have. But while rituals and ceremonies are important parts of the act of getting married, they alone can’t determine whether the couple will stay married. Only love, understanding and sympathy between the two can take care of that.
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